‘Criminal Record’ Plays “Snakes & Ladders” to a Draw
For every snake, there is a ladder; for every ladder, a snake.
This week’s Criminal Record cold open begins with the boy at the heart of this season’s mystery, Billy Fielding. Last week, we learned that Cerys’ murder was at least partly accidental; it wasn’t an act of physical violence. Instead, he gave her ketamine, a drug that in itself is not fatal, but was the direct cause of her death. It’s been clear since the premiere that Hegarty knows him well, though precisely how well is still up for debate. However, the important thing is that he doesn’t see Billy as a murderer, but rather as a dumb kid who made an extraordinarily bad choice.
Billy may seem like a dumb kid, but he’s half playing at it. When challenged to a boxing match by Nigel, he allows himself to be beaten up until Cosmo walks in, and then, like magic, the kid turns on a dime and starts winning. Watching via CCTV, even Hegarty seems impressed.
Unfortunately, the big boss, CTC Tim Dencik (Peter Sullivan), is not impressed. Not with Billy, not with Cosmo, and not with Hegarty’s ranting about seven detonators. He thinks this is an overreaction and is far more concerned with Billy’s escape from prison being turned into “police collusion.” He demands hard proof of Hegarty’s terrorist imaginings, or the operation is over; so Hegarty returns to the team and says they need to figure out which of these losers (Andy, Nigel, Kieran, Liam, or Phil) actually might know how to build a bomb.
First things first, June needs to go head over to see Ashley to tell her Billy’s back in police custody. Technically not a lie, but close enough that Hegarty admits it’s an “untruth.” Part of the deal is that Billy’s escape cannot get out, and Ashley is a major loose end, having seen the kid in her own apartment. Surprisingly, Ashley doesn’t accuse June of having known about Billy’s escape the first time she showed up, and she takes the assertion that the kid is “in temporary custody” at face value.
The second stop is to see Mullins, where June gets a better idea of just how short a leash they’ve been put on; her boss practically begs her to give them anything to work with. June stays tight-lipped, but promises to loop Mullins in if anything real happens. When she tries to confront Hegarty about it, though, he shuts down.
As for the gang, who Hegarty and company are watching drinking beer and shooting shit, they really are a bunch of losers. (For those who have not spent their lives in the eyeball economy, let me say, unequivocally, that 2 million views on YouTube is utterly piddling.) Billy easily leads them into moving from talk to action. Before you know it, Cosmo is planning to have the gang crash the Rohaan Hussain public memorial, which the local MP is spearheading, Margo Whitaker (Michelle Bonnard), whom we last saw dressing down Mullins in the premiere episode.
Looped in on the video, Mullins and her pet lawyer determine this is not a credible enough threat to move on, and even Hegarty admits by the time they’re done parsing it to death that what they have here is footage from the saddest lock-in in London. Whitaker refuses even to consider shutting down the memorial or otherwise not attending, especially when Mullins admits the threat isn’t legally arrest-worthy.
And that, dear friends, is how we find ourselves back in Suffolk Square – call it Suffolk Square II: Rohaan Wake Bugaloo. It’s way more crowded this time, and the cops are inspecting bags, creating a backup at the entry point. Unfortunately, just as Kieran and Phil are spotted making their way in, June spots two others who shouldn't be there: Leo... and he’s brought Jacob.
June is practically in a panic trying to get them to leave as Kieran and Phil dig in their backpacks and Cosmo turns up on the roof with helpers. However, their stunt isn’t actually violent. They drop a banner that reads in huge letters “NOBODY DIED.” Hegarty’s been made a fool of. Cosmo has set this up so that they’re fighting shadowy conspiracy theories of the dumbest kind, the exact kind of thing that lulls the police into inaction until it’s too late. He’s furious, demanding that Cosmo be released for fear of the entire operation collapsing.
Billy is ordered to stay back, apparently left to his own devices while the rest head off to the demonstration. It’s unclear whether this was a deliberate move on someone’s part to see if he snoops, but if it is, they’ll get what they wanted. Billy steals the keys from Cosmo’s desk and hunts through the gym lockers looking for the detonators. What he finds instead is a bloody towel wrapped around something, which turns out to be the murder weapon. Billy drops it out the window, and Kim instructs the officer on watch to pop out and grab it.
Let out of prison, Cosmo is instantly surrounded by the press and cameras, handed a golden opportunity to spread his message. Everyone is furious. Leo demands to know why June let the event happen if they thought it was dangerous, and asks if her job has ever made the world a safer place. By the time he starts yelling at June about Jacob and how she keeps pushing him away, she’s already walking back out the door. Meanwhile, Mullins calls Hegarty and declares the operation shut down before the CTC storms in and does it for her.
Hegarty responds by… calling Graeme at the prison, declaring “a change of plans,” and giving him the go-ahead for what I can only assume is Plan C.
Plan C, it turns out, is leaking that Billy escaped.
The gang panics upon realizing they have a wanted man in their midst. Nigel grabs the kid, sticks him in the trunk of the car, and drives him away to a holding room far away. Thankfully, he’s not alone long; Cosmo turns up soon enough with a bag of clothes, explaining they need him to hide out here for a few days until the furor calms down. He distracts the kid with clothing long enough to grab his anti-anxiety meds and flush them down the toilet, as Billy freaks out. It doesn’t get better from there. Cosmo takes off Billy’s necklace (which has the listening device attached) and tosses it onto the bed as something ugly Billy shouldn’t wear. There are a few more minutes of recording, mostly obscured by the blankets, before the thing goes dead. Hegarty demands they clean it up enough to find out what Cosmo was saying, and storms out in frustration.
June’s no fool; she knows Hegarty, she recognizes the leak basically buys the operation time, and calls him out for doing it. It’s amusing that Hegarty can’t lie to her, though he does manage to distract her for a second by showing her the murder weapon Billy found. When he gets called back to hear the end of the recording, he tells June not to make him force her to follow him; he knows she wants to.
As expected, Comso’s final words to Billy before the device went dead are what they need to get Mullins back on their side: “Tick tick tick BOOM.”
Criminal Record Season 2 continues with new episodes every Wednesday on Apple TV through mid-June.
